We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
