How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
