actually, I'm a sock model
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
