I can tuck mytits in my pants
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Small penises have feelings too.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
