I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
