I need help removing her.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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