I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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