Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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