youre lurking in front of me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
