Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
