u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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