I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That accounts for only three of the penises
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
