what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
