She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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