You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
