I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
