two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
