Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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