OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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