Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
