Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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