who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
