their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
