hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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