Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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