Pants 0. Shit 1.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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