Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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