Non-Jews are for practice
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
