UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
