She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
