we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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