well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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