You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
