You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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