He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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