And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
