Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
