i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
