I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I can text with my tongue
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
