Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
