I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
