Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
