Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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