She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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