I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
