I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
