On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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