He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
