i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
