Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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