he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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